another cliché
travel blog

I had been dreaming about a graduation ceremony overseen by the queen. A docile boar was ceremonially sacrificed. The blood from the boar’s slit throat should have run down the face of the valedictorian, but whatever passed for blood running down the boar’s unslit throat was instead caught in a cup, later to be dabbled on the valedictorian’s face.

Then Wade woke me up with a cup of coffee saying breakfast was ready. I threw on pants and slashed some water on my face and headed down. Bacon and eggs were served up, then we scrambled to get out of the house.

We drove into Banff, hit up the visitor center for info (and despite my misgivings, pick up bear spray), then headed out to Fireside to hike up Mt. Edith to Corey Pass. The nearly 1,000m gain over 4km was tough, though the Hungarian dead lifts Elysia has had us doing helped. At the pass’s saddle, we chatted for a while with a couple who had driven up from Seattle who were really cool.

After the hike, we drove around a bit, stopped to get groceries. After getting home, we cooked up dinner, taking turns taking showers, scarfed down some amazing yellow curry, and laid low for the night.

After packing haphazardly the previous night, I got up and got out around 8 to meet up at Wade and Tiff’s where I ended my nearly week long abstention of caffeine). Our flight ended up being delayed over two hours, but was was otherwise uneventful. I spent most of the flight chatting with the person next to me, a (from what I could tell, liberal) vicar from Winnipeg. After that, we got our car and hit the road. Banff is gorgeous.

We got dinner at Park Distillery, planned for the hike the next day, and called it a night. I stayed up till about 1:30 re-reading The Name of the Wind.

Woke up, finished packing and cleaning up, grabbed breakfast at La Spezia (more because they had normal brunch food than because their food is that good, but it is good), but I still had sausage, eggs, and rice. From there, we gassed up, drove to the airport, and took off.

The flight to Honolulu wasn’t bad, but the flight from Honolulu to OAK was rough. Crying kids on a flight isn’t bad. If anything, the kids are just expressing how we all feel, so in a way it’s a release. Parents being shitty to their crying kids though, that’s awful.

Woke up early to get down to Port Allen by 7:30. Sophie may have, once or twice, questioned why we didn’t do the dinner cruise instead, but to me it actually felt great being up before 10. When we arrived, they had a pot of coffee on and some poppyseed muffins, so I was happy.

Walking down to the boat, the captain pointed at me and said, “You look like a local boy”. I told him I was from the mainland and he shrugged. We stripped off our slippers, got on a beautiful 65’ cat, and then got underway. It was AMAZING being on the water. Felt so good. The cat had twin 400HP Cummings in them, but once we made it up to Ke’e beach and turned around, the wind was at our backs, so they went wing on wing for as long as the wind held.

Once we got to the snorkel spot, Bobby, one of the crew and a total character, dove in and tied off to their fixed anchor. Having that is way better for the bottom, so they don’t have to drop anchor and bust stuff up every day.

In the water, we saw a bunch of trigger and parot fish, as well as a turtle, a couple puffer fish, and an octopus. So that was cool.

To get everyone out of the water, they announced it was lunch time. Burgers, but they were using local, grass fed beef that was really well seasoned; they were fantastic. During lunch, the captain came around to check off names, and when he saw mine, he looked at me funny and said, “you sure you don’t got family here?” I confess, and he asked about a buddy of his. I checked with the family later, but we’re not really sure.

After getting back, we were pretty tired (and sadly I finally got my sunburn), but we washed up and hit the beach for golden hour.

After, we grabbed a really good dinner at La Spezia, then packed up a bit and passed out.

We woke up, had a bite or two of little baby chiffon, then, per Dina’s suggestion grabbed coffee at Cortado. While we were at it, we picked up snorkel gear next door, and checked out the grocery store / sushi bar / crossfit gym / juice bar. Quite a trip, but they had sushi grade ahi in the case, so cool by me.

After coffee, we drove back up to Koloa town for breakfast (just a window in the side of the grocery store there, bacon, eggs, and rice) then hit up the beach! Spent the afternoon just bumming around, then went back up to Kapa’a for shave ice from Tege Tege and a small snack.

For dinner, we went to the Beach House, got drinks while watching the sunset, and then had a nice long meal. Sophie had a bite of my Ono (a first for her), and she got a fillet, which was super tasty.

We got to talking with our waiter, Josh, and he started talking about how he was outfitting a Tacoma for luxury/adventure rentals. Seemed pretty cool, and he was totally proud of it. Got his number, and will have to hit him up next time we’re out there. After dinner, we walked along the break for a minute, then headed home. Had to be up early for the catamaran the next morning, so didn’t want to be out too late.

We set the alarm for 5:30, got up around 6, made breakfast, and were on the trail by 6:45. The therapists were gone by the time we woke up, so they must have been up and out before dawn. Sophie said she heard them packing up, so that must have been sometime before 5. Hats off to them. After getting water, we started the hike back in earnest.

Those smiles faded pretty quick. The first mile is a total asskicker, totally exposed red dirt with several thousand feet of gain and some tears.

The way out was significantly easier than the hike in, and we made good time, finishing around 3.

Along the way, we kept leapfrogging two guys on a school funded trip (how awesome is that!). We checked in with everyone, picked up our bags from our airbnb, and got Mexican from that place across from Java Kai. We made a quick stop in Lihue to pick up a full lilikoi pie (judge away), then bee lined it to Poipu and bed.

Beach. And then some more beach where we met our neighbors, Abby, Brittney, and Leah, and their two friends, all from Oahu (-ish. Many were from the Midwest, went to school in Santa Cruz, then moved out to Hawaii). Then a nap and some reading. Then beach.

We ate dinner early, maybe around 6, and just kinda hung out with the cat.

Then sunset.

At sunset, Sophie and I started dancing on the beach and Abby, ran over and offered to take a video of us dancing on the beach. We politely declined, but she invited us over to some singing bowls being played. We grabbed our headlamps and headed over. We stayed a short while then peaced out. A little bit too woo woo. We stargazed for a bit, then called it a night.

We work up at 6am, ate some oatmeal, grabbed our bags and got on the trail.

It was a hell of a hike.

We took a break around 11 at a gate into the national park. We had passed someone earlier in the day who told us to be sure to drop our packs and walk around the rock by the gate. That treated us to a ledge above an 800 foot drop to the ocean.

Beyond that, it was a pretty rough slog. Stopping for lunch was great, but it was tough going. Luckily, the river crossings were easy, and crawler’s ledge is easier. Sure footing and safe–just nasty consequences.

Around 4pm, Sophie mentioned she had a splitting headache and felt nauseous, so we took a break and cooled down in a shady area. We both felt much better after that.

The beach was one of the most welcome sights ever. Sophie’s face was priceless. There may have been some tears, but they were well earned. This was without a doubt the hardest trail I’ve ever done, and probably the most physically demanding thing I’ve ever undertaken. She’s a trooper.

After reaching camp, we set up a got some more water from a nearby waterfall. Several rocks dropped near us as we did, which was fun, and the water was a bit silty. Luckily, our neighbors (on vacation from San Mateo) had a filter, so that saved us. As soon as we could, we made dinner (Chili with macaroni), and passed out. I was done.

We woke up early and got on the plane from OAK to Maui, then Maui to Lihue.

First stop was Hamura’s, of course. Sophie wasn’t terribly impressed by the saimin, but I’ve never seen her face light up like when she tasted the lilikoi pie. We ordered a second slice.

After Hamura’s, we hit up Walmart for propane and snacks. Turns out they only have the Coleman cylinders, so we ended up at Kayak Kauai, which luckily carries them. As it turned out, we could have just scavenged for them on the trail, but so it goes.

We got to our airbnb, then went to the beach! The water was great, and the weather perfect. At one point, we even got a sun shower.

We showered off, then went for drinks at the St. Regis. At the bar, the bartender asked if I was Ashley’s brother. When we facetimed my mom from the bar to wish her a happy birthday, we figured out she’s one of Uncle Lotin’s grandchildren.

After drinks, we bailed on our reservation, we didn’t feel like blowing so much money on an unremarkable meal that we would have rushed through to get to bed. So, we went back to Kapa’a and hit up the noodle house.

After dinner, we repackage and went right to bed.

Woke up. Read. Breakfast at the house. Taxi to the airport.

Dealt with customs (because I didn’t get a certificate when I purchased the piece, I had to pay a whole $3 to get the painting out of the country). We got on the plane. Other than the poor babies screaming behind us much of the flight, the flight was easy.