another cliché
travel blog

Waiting for breakfast just before going mountain biking, it occurred to me to text Mark (an avid mountain biker) to say “Hey, I’m doing your sport!” like I do just about every time I’m about to try something new. Then I thought, wait, what don’t my friends do? What could I do that they don’t already? Stuff that got crossed off the list quickly:

• Anything white water
• Biking (of all kinds)
• Climbing
• Horseback riding
• Yoga (of all kinds)
• Motorcycles (dirt and road)
• Triathlon (and associated sports)
• Aerial tissue/pole/general circus type stuff
• Martial arts
• Sailing
• Diving
• Snowboarding/skiing
• Kite boarding
• Surfing

The only stuff I could come up with that you all don’t do on a regular basis are the kinds of thing AD&D doesn’t cover, and I hope you don’t take up as a regular hobby.

Then I started thinking about all the other stuff you guys do, like getting your Ph. Ds, MFAs, traveling and living all across the world, starting bands, making it in showbiz, saving lives, creating things that are used by millions of people every day, governing the most powerful nation on the planet. Jesus.

You guys rock. Keep that shit up.

When we left the hostel, our plan was to find road bikes Joe Best had mentioned the previous night and take a ride south across the river. Rob, you’ll be happy to learn, this trip, more than anything, has convinced me I should buy a bike. We spent about a half hour looking for the bike rental place before we stumbled upon Mountain Bike Chiang Mai, which ended up changing our entire stay here.

We had done a little research earlier and had been planning to stop by anyway, but The Fat Man (aka outfit owner) convinced us that today was the day to ride Doi Suthep. I ran across the parking lot to grab breakfast for Kerry and I, then we grabbed our gear. As we were getting kitted out, we picked out of The Fat Man’s palaver, “You guys are from California? You can ride with these two.” Thus, Aaron and David joined our crew. In the kind of logic serendipity (or if you’re feeling less starry eyed, emergence) dictates, not only were the two brothers from SF, but David lives maybe a mile from me in the mission.

After a rough ride to the top of Doi Suthep that left all of us feeling a little ill, we hopped on the bikes and started the ride. Turns out Aaron, in addition to formerly play for he San Jose Earthquakes, playing bass in The Neckbeard Boys, surfing, being a physicians assistant….is a badass on a mountain bike. Originally, Kerry and I had gone in asking for the most advanced course Mountain Bike Chiang Mai had, The Eliminator. It was a good thing The Fat Man shut it down because the ride we did, Old Smuggler’s Route (which, given the opium they used to grow in the fields we passed through, and the weed they still do, is appropriately named), kicked our ass. We all ate shit, though no one was really injured. And were it not for wagers of beer that we wouldn’t fall, our wallets wouldn’t have been touched either. Alas…

Aaron and our guide K started talking, which lead to Aaron joining the locals for Foosall following the ride. How they have the energy, I don’t know. I took a nap. After, we all met up for dinner at Loco Elvis, where Thor (which sounds much more like Tom than the dude with a hammer), was playing. The bar serves farang (sounds kinda like foreign) and has several respectable cover bands and karaoke. So we proceeded to tie one on and have a good night.

1. Cheese
2. A real goddamn cup of coffee (nevermind, found it)
3. Everything not being perpetually moist
4. Having the energy to do anything at three PM
5. Plumbing that can handle toilet paper
6. Feeling productive
7. Every beer that isn’t a pale lager
8. Streets smelling like piss (as opposed to sewage)
9. Drinking tap water
10. Styrofoam take out containers not existing
11. Jägerschnitzle

Commentor: Elaine date:2015-02-09 10:10:56

1. My mommy

Commentor: Elaine date:2015-02-16 01:51:51

Wait, I specifically entered this as number 12 in the list. WTF?!

We spent the day bumming around the old city, checking stuff out. Brunch was at this incredible restaurant, Blue Diamomd, that wouldn’t have been out of place in Berkeley. Vegan, gluten-free baked goods, chia seeds, and avocados everywhere. After lounging there till around two two we rolled ourselves out of there and started to explore Chiang Mai.

From just getting off the train, Chiang Mai just felt better than Bangkok. The air seems cleaner, the streets less insane, the people more relaxed. I might just be imagining it, after 34 hours of uninterrupted travel, it wouldn’t be out of the question. But even the crepes were more crepe like, less fried and more like what you’d expect to see in France. This is gonna be good.

Dinner was the local dish, kow soi (just like it sounds, cow soy) is pretty much the best thing ever: crispy fried noodles on top of a green curry like soup with egg noodles. Double noodles. Tasty broth. Yesssssss. Washed it down with the best beer I’ve ever drank. Given it was a Chang, I’m fairly certain it was more to do with the circumstances, and not the PBR quality pale lager. But I enjoyed it no less.

Woke up this morning after two hours of sleep following the full moon party. Quickly, everyone packed up the gear that had slowly exploded out of our packs over the last five days, took their last showers for a while, and got on the boat out of town. It was miserably hot, be we all agreed that however bad we felt, it was infinitely better than everyone still in their neons and body paint from last night. After a two hour ferry ride (bless aircon) we were at the port that services Surat Thani, our transfer point to Bangkok, then Chiang Mai. Unbeknownst to us, Surat Thani is actually an hour away from the port, and our ticket price included a bus from the port to the train station. Unfortunately, it also meant that our group had to split up pronto. In many ways, it was a blessing, unexpected and necessarily brief. Suddenly we went from a group back to a pair.

When Kerry and I arrived at the train station, sitting there as though they were expecting us, were Becca and Kyle. They apologized for not meeting us on Koh Phangan, which we balked at, as they clearly had more important things going on (like getting engaged).

We were in different cars, so we didn’t see them on the train, but we got breakfast with them, then said our goodbyes for the time being. That accomplished it was back on the train for another 12 hours, which passed considerably more slowly than the sleeper from Surat Thani. The train attendant even passed out in a pair of seats for a while. But seeing some of the Thai countryside was pretty cool. Reminded me of something between home and Hawaii. Sugarcane, rice, and even some corn. Familiar things. But we were glad once it ended.

Pretty much just slept and relaxed all day. It was perfect.

Commentor: Cindy Date: 2015-02-04 05:52:16

Matt, I’m grateful for your posts. I think you edit the experience less than KC does. Or maybe we just didn’t have time during our skype to get into near-death experiences you witnessed. Then again, I’m also glad I had spoken to her after some of these posts, so I knew she had safely scootered around a crazy-traffic island with you. Thanks, from me, to your parents, too, for your scooter-skills. Or maybe KC was driving??

We woke up early for a prompt 7:10am pick up by Charlie, a gloriously sarcastic Brit with zero regard for your feelings. Fucking brilliant. Sail Rock Diving totally has their shit together, if I’m ever out here again I’ll definitely look them up.

Regardless of their prowess, they’re still at the mercy of the moon and tides. When we finally reached Sail Rock, conditions were rough and visibility was shit–under a half meter. It was like swimming through soup. We spent the entire dive losing and looking for each other. Twice during the dive, I was reminded that I was there to look at stuff, not just to dive. Both times it was the unexpected appearance of the urchin strewn reef that reminded me. Luckily there were no accidents, but we ended up relocating for our second dive. Visibility was still low at Thong Salad ( pronounced tong salahd) but still much improved. It all underscored how lucky we were diving on Koh Tao.

That night, we went to a party out on a floating platform in the bay. Neat gimmick but we had a good time nonetheless. Our taxi back to the hostel damn near killed someone though. A drunk idiot raced past us on a scooter, then immediately stopped and flipped a u turn. We missed him by inches. Driving in Thailand is always a bit intense, but even our taxi driver was shaken by it.

Rented three scooters for the six of us and went around the north west side of the island. 600 baht (~$20) and a passport for a deposit was all it cost for all three. No forms. No insurance. Some things are a bit more sane here. Unfortunately, roads aren’t one of them. Despite the small size of the island, crashes happen daily (we passed one) and the shop was clear, unless we had prior experience with scooters, we shouldn’t rent them. So, thanks dad (and mom!) for the KDX 80. Experience on that got us through the unmitigated shitshow that is driving in Thailand. No real lanes, drive on the left side, no traffic control, and pedestrians in traffic. It’s horrendous.

Other than traffic though, the scooters were really fun. We took them up to Koh Ma beach (beautiful, swankish resort beach) and spent the afternoon there. Then hiked to a couple beautiful waterfalls. Those we cool. Pics to come. Tomorrow, diving at Sail Rock, supposedly the best dive spot in the gulf of Thailand. So there’s that.

This entire island seems to exist to help foreigners get altered. It’s bizarre.

Weird Things We Found